[He takes it curiously, unfolding it almost as soon as it's in his hands. The amusement from his teasing disappears from his face as he studies it, looks it over and takes in the details.]
[She's really good at this - he recognizes it too, from the peak at the Gladers' map he'd gotten the other day.] If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was the original. [Beyond the parts Clarke's left behind that scream her touch. Bellamy looks up from the map back to her.] It is better though.
[It's not a compliment so much as blunt honesty. It's more familiar to him drawn like this.]
( she says it in earnest, because while Clarke doesn't necessarily doubt her talents, well- it's nice to have her ridiculous ability to be meticulous appreciated one way or another. )
I want you to keep it. I'm going to be one of the field medics, and... I need to know that the map is safe since it's one of our only ways out of this place if things go badly. ( she offers up a bit of a smile, as though to try and force some sort of humour into what she says next. the sincerity in her voice betrays her. ) Plus maybe you'll be a little less reckless if I make you hang onto it.
( which is the truth of it, really. she could easily hang onto the map, give it to Raven, hide it in her room. there are endless places she could stash it for safe keeping without giving the responsibility to Bellamy. but she knows him, she does. she remembers him during the battle at the drop ship and having to leave him behind -- Clarke can't do it again, and she's going to do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn't have to. )
[He furrows his eyebrows, glancing down at the map again, then back up at her. He knows better than to challenge her on being a field medic, because she's Clarke Griffin and he wouldn't even want to - but he's worried anyway. The way the castle's gearing up isn't a good sign. The first thing his eyes went to in the map were the escape routes, already calculating how to get himself and Clarke and Raven out, not how to fight back.]
[But he's glad to have the map, because he knows Clarke won't leave unless she absolutely has to, and maybe not even then. While she's busy saving lives, he can come up with a plan to save theirs.]
[The only thing that stops him from rolling his eyes over the reckless remark is the sincerity he hears in it, and he recognizes that it's not off the mark. She doesn't want him to run off, and being tasked with holding the map is her way of trying to prevent that. Her way of trying to keep him safer.]
[It works, for the most part, just not necessarily so directly in the way she'd intended.]
I'm not interested in fighting their war; I'm not gonna do anything stupid. [Not for kings and queens at least. For his people is another story, and his grip on the map shifts into something protective, like it's suddenly the key to keeping Clarke and Raven safe. To keep them safe, he needs to keep himself safe, so maybe her plan's working after all.] I'll hold it, but that means you have to listen to me when it comes to using it.
( in all honesty, she's pretty relieved that Bellamy doesn't try to talk her out of the field medic position. she knows that it's dangerous, and that risking her life just to make sure the people here don't die isn't something that a person new to the world should be worrying about. but there's part of her that remembers what it was like in the first few days on the ground -- there are more new people here than just her, Bellamy, and Raven. people that might be pushed into that battle as well. if she can help, well- she has to.
the relief in her that Bellamy has no intention of fighting in the war is no small measure, it lifts the weight substantially. while she knows that he isn't one to throw his life on the line for a monarchy that he has no allegiance to, that ripped all of them away from their own people, Clarke also knows that Bellamy would do just about anything to keep his people safe. which, in this place, consisted of her and Raven. if Clarke is on the field helping people, it means he won't be far away; knowing that her choice is risking not just herself but him as well makes her stomach sink.
(but she also accepts there's really no talking him out of it, just as he acknowledges with her.)
Clarke purses her lips at his offering. that he'll take the map if she listens to him, and no that had not at all been the intended agreement, thank you very much! but Clarke also accepts that she won't be able to know when it's time to leave with a battle as large as the one that's approaching. so while she might be apprehensive about letting Bellamy pull her away from the task she's setting out to do, she gets it; it's his way of protecting her, just as giving him the map was Clarke's way of protecting him. )
Okay. And- Bellamy, if anything happens and it's just you and Raven, Thomas and Minho are making an evacuation plan. If you find them, they'll help you.
[He can tell right away that his ultimatum wasn't part of her plan, but he's glad she doesn't try to argue otherwise. This is where they find balance, and it's much easier to find a middle ground than constantly refute her. It's why they work so well.]
Nothing is going to happen to you. [It's just - no argument. There's literally no other option here. Bellamy's not going to let her die in another world when he fights so hard for it in his own. He almost suggests making a plan should they find themselves separated again, but like her, he's determined to stop history from repeating itself. As far as he's concerned, none of them are going to die, and all three of them are going to make it out. He'll have her back on the battlefield like he always does.] I talked to them, though. And they'd help you too.
[His tone still implies he refuses to make that necessary.]
( whether it's confidence in her ability to survive, or confidence in himself to watch out for her, Clarke's thankful either way. after all, no part of her wants to die there; there's too much left for them to do back home.
it's the second part that catches her, because while Clarke had fully considered the possibilities of what might happen if she's out being a field medic. but giving Bellamy the map had felt more like a safeguard against anything happening to him. )
They won't need to, you'll be there. ( and she says it with enough conviction that it doesn't allow for room to argue. at least they're on the same standing -- they won't go without each other. but even with that said, she levels her voice, and it comes out a little quieter than she means for it to. ) I can't lose you again, okay?
( she had to leave him behind once, without knowing if he would be okay, without knowing if she would see him again; she can't do it again. )
[He watches her for a moment, then looks away quietly. To brush off the uncertainty, he glances at the map, even though he's not really processing anything on it. It's just a bunch of meaningless lines.]
[Bellamy spent most of his life on the Ark being expendable in his station. Looking after Octavia was the only sense of importance he'd felt for so long, and long were the days he had to look after himself because no one else would. People don't usually need him.]
[The Earth changed that, in a lot of ways he's still adjusting to, still getting comfortable with. The teenagers sent to die, his sister included, who looked to him even after his selfish hostility. The way his life has suddenly become something worth more value, that more than just Octavia would realize him missing.]
[It's one thing for all the implications, the plans, the way Clarke hints that she wants him safe, but it's another to hear her say so out loud. To flat out hear her say she can't lose him again.]
Don't do anything reckless yourself. [His voice is a notch quieter than it was before, but there's a promise in it anyway - even if he doesn't respond directly to her words, even if he's still not quite looking at her, Bellamy refuses to let Clarke down.] We'll get out of this. I'll make sure of it.
( she doesn't expect Bellamy to acknowledge it, she's almost relieved that he doesn't. there's so much weight to what she's said, and it isn't that she would take it back, more that she doesn't want to expand upon it. Clarke isn't even sure when it happened, when Bellamy went from begrudging co-leader to someone that devastated her to lose. it had been as crushing of a weight as the idea of Finn being gone, that she had left both behind. when she'd been reunited with everyone on Mount Weather and there had been no sign of either of them, she could still remember how horrifically empty she had felt in their absence.
and that had just been the chance of them not surviving. so even the mere thought that she would be separated from him again isn't anything she's willing to deal with again. because maybe Bellamy isn't used to people caring about his well being, but Clarke can't imagine not.
huffing out a bit of a sigh, she offers up a smile to try and lighten the mood a little. )
Me? I'm never reckless. ( (Clarke, please.) but she nods nonetheless. ) I'll be careful. I promise.
[The huffing sigh, the smile, it sets him more at ease, pushes away any uncomfortable emotions he doesn't want to deal with when it comes to being important.]
[Bellamy offers the smallest of smiles back, so slight it's barely even noticeable, but it's there. They're both reckless, but at least it's usually not without reason anymore. And now with all that out of the way, they're more or less on the same page here about the upcoming battle.]
That's all I needed to hear. [Because trying to be careful is just about one of the only promises that can be kept anymore.] Just know I'm gonna hold you to that.
( because it's what they do, isn't it? hold each other accountable for the promises they give, for the choices they make. they ease each others guilt when it's warranted or leaves them to grapple with it when necessary. it's part of why they work; it isn't just about pushing each other, it isn't just about balance, it's about the accountability and whatever measure of comfort the other provides in one way or another.
Clark leans over to look at the map, trying not to let her smile widen; she's clearly quite proud of her handiwork. but it also serves as a reminder. )
I should get back to helping them. Only having one copy won't really help anyone but us.
[For all he's still worried about the battle that's on its way, Bellamy feels a little more settled about his own situation. It's not just the map - it's in knowing he and Clarke have a better plan than they did before, even if it is just having each other's backs at its core. But sometimes, that's all they need to start.]
Don't push yourself too much for that either. We're gonna need all the sleep we can get now.
Your lack of specificity is impressive. ( even Clarke "Mom Voice" Griffin is in awe of it, really. but she reaches up, offering a reassuring pat to his shoulder. ) Don't wait up. ( a beat. ) Meet me for breakfast tomorrow? We can pick up Raven on the way.
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[She's really good at this - he recognizes it too, from the peak at the Gladers' map he'd gotten the other day.] If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was the original. [Beyond the parts Clarke's left behind that scream her touch. Bellamy looks up from the map back to her.] It is better though.
[It's not a compliment so much as blunt honesty. It's more familiar to him drawn like this.]
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( she says it in earnest, because while Clarke doesn't necessarily doubt her talents, well- it's nice to have her ridiculous ability to be meticulous appreciated one way or another. )
I want you to keep it. I'm going to be one of the field medics, and... I need to know that the map is safe since it's one of our only ways out of this place if things go badly. ( she offers up a bit of a smile, as though to try and force some sort of humour into what she says next. the sincerity in her voice betrays her. ) Plus maybe you'll be a little less reckless if I make you hang onto it.
( which is the truth of it, really. she could easily hang onto the map, give it to Raven, hide it in her room. there are endless places she could stash it for safe keeping without giving the responsibility to Bellamy. but she knows him, she does. she remembers him during the battle at the drop ship and having to leave him behind -- Clarke can't do it again, and she's going to do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn't have to. )
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[But he's glad to have the map, because he knows Clarke won't leave unless she absolutely has to, and maybe not even then. While she's busy saving lives, he can come up with a plan to save theirs.]
[The only thing that stops him from rolling his eyes over the reckless remark is the sincerity he hears in it, and he recognizes that it's not off the mark. She doesn't want him to run off, and being tasked with holding the map is her way of trying to prevent that. Her way of trying to keep him safer.]
[It works, for the most part, just not necessarily so directly in the way she'd intended.]
I'm not interested in fighting their war; I'm not gonna do anything stupid. [Not for kings and queens at least. For his people is another story, and his grip on the map shifts into something protective, like it's suddenly the key to keeping Clarke and Raven safe. To keep them safe, he needs to keep himself safe, so maybe her plan's working after all.] I'll hold it, but that means you have to listen to me when it comes to using it.
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the relief in her that Bellamy has no intention of fighting in the war is no small measure, it lifts the weight substantially. while she knows that he isn't one to throw his life on the line for a monarchy that he has no allegiance to, that ripped all of them away from their own people, Clarke also knows that Bellamy would do just about anything to keep his people safe. which, in this place, consisted of her and Raven. if Clarke is on the field helping people, it means he won't be far away; knowing that her choice is risking not just herself but him as well makes her stomach sink.
(but she also accepts there's really no talking him out of it, just as he acknowledges with her.)
Clarke purses her lips at his offering. that he'll take the map if she listens to him, and no that had not at all been the intended agreement, thank you very much! but Clarke also accepts that she won't be able to know when it's time to leave with a battle as large as the one that's approaching. so while she might be apprehensive about letting Bellamy pull her away from the task she's setting out to do, she gets it; it's his way of protecting her, just as giving him the map was Clarke's way of protecting him. )
Okay. And- Bellamy, if anything happens and it's just you and Raven, Thomas and Minho are making an evacuation plan. If you find them, they'll help you.
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Nothing is going to happen to you. [It's just - no argument. There's literally no other option here. Bellamy's not going to let her die in another world when he fights so hard for it in his own. He almost suggests making a plan should they find themselves separated again, but like her, he's determined to stop history from repeating itself. As far as he's concerned, none of them are going to die, and all three of them are going to make it out. He'll have her back on the battlefield like he always does.] I talked to them, though. And they'd help you too.
[His tone still implies he refuses to make that necessary.]
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it's the second part that catches her, because while Clarke had fully considered the possibilities of what might happen if she's out being a field medic. but giving Bellamy the map had felt more like a safeguard against anything happening to him. )
They won't need to, you'll be there. ( and she says it with enough conviction that it doesn't allow for room to argue. at least they're on the same standing -- they won't go without each other. but even with that said, she levels her voice, and it comes out a little quieter than she means for it to. ) I can't lose you again, okay?
( she had to leave him behind once, without knowing if he would be okay, without knowing if she would see him again; she can't do it again. )
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[Bellamy spent most of his life on the Ark being expendable in his station. Looking after Octavia was the only sense of importance he'd felt for so long, and long were the days he had to look after himself because no one else would. People don't usually need him.]
[The Earth changed that, in a lot of ways he's still adjusting to, still getting comfortable with. The teenagers sent to die, his sister included, who looked to him even after his selfish hostility. The way his life has suddenly become something worth more value, that more than just Octavia would realize him missing.]
[It's one thing for all the implications, the plans, the way Clarke hints that she wants him safe, but it's another to hear her say so out loud. To flat out hear her say she can't lose him again.]
Don't do anything reckless yourself. [His voice is a notch quieter than it was before, but there's a promise in it anyway - even if he doesn't respond directly to her words, even if he's still not quite looking at her, Bellamy refuses to let Clarke down.] We'll get out of this. I'll make sure of it.
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and that had just been the chance of them not surviving. so even the mere thought that she would be separated from him again isn't anything she's willing to deal with again. because maybe Bellamy isn't used to people caring about his well being, but Clarke can't imagine not.
huffing out a bit of a sigh, she offers up a smile to try and lighten the mood a little. )
Me? I'm never reckless. ( (Clarke, please.) but she nods nonetheless. ) I'll be careful. I promise.
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[Bellamy offers the smallest of smiles back, so slight it's barely even noticeable, but it's there. They're both reckless, but at least it's usually not without reason anymore. And now with all that out of the way, they're more or less on the same page here about the upcoming battle.]
That's all I needed to hear. [Because trying to be careful is just about one of the only promises that can be kept anymore.] Just know I'm gonna hold you to that.
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( because it's what they do, isn't it? hold each other accountable for the promises they give, for the choices they make. they ease each others guilt when it's warranted or leaves them to grapple with it when necessary. it's part of why they work; it isn't just about pushing each other, it isn't just about balance, it's about the accountability and whatever measure of comfort the other provides in one way or another.
Clark leans over to look at the map, trying not to let her smile widen; she's clearly quite proud of her handiwork. but it also serves as a reminder. )
I should get back to helping them. Only having one copy won't really help anyone but us.
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Don't push yourself too much for that either. We're gonna need all the sleep we can get now.
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( she's definitely teasing him a little, as evidenced by the grin that breaks across her face. )
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[It's nice, to be light like this, for the first time in who knows how long, really.]
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[Because he knows you, Clarke, and he knows you're gonna be up at least a little bit late working on maps.]
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Bright and early. I want to get started on maps again right after, so the earlier the better.
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[Some. It's the most he can hope for.]
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( she offers up what she hopes passes as a reassuring smile before heading for the door; some sleep she can do. )