[He watches her for a moment, then looks away quietly. To brush off the uncertainty, he glances at the map, even though he's not really processing anything on it. It's just a bunch of meaningless lines.]
[Bellamy spent most of his life on the Ark being expendable in his station. Looking after Octavia was the only sense of importance he'd felt for so long, and long were the days he had to look after himself because no one else would. People don't usually need him.]
[The Earth changed that, in a lot of ways he's still adjusting to, still getting comfortable with. The teenagers sent to die, his sister included, who looked to him even after his selfish hostility. The way his life has suddenly become something worth more value, that more than just Octavia would realize him missing.]
[It's one thing for all the implications, the plans, the way Clarke hints that she wants him safe, but it's another to hear her say so out loud. To flat out hear her say she can't lose him again.]
Don't do anything reckless yourself. [His voice is a notch quieter than it was before, but there's a promise in it anyway - even if he doesn't respond directly to her words, even if he's still not quite looking at her, Bellamy refuses to let Clarke down.] We'll get out of this. I'll make sure of it.
( she doesn't expect Bellamy to acknowledge it, she's almost relieved that he doesn't. there's so much weight to what she's said, and it isn't that she would take it back, more that she doesn't want to expand upon it. Clarke isn't even sure when it happened, when Bellamy went from begrudging co-leader to someone that devastated her to lose. it had been as crushing of a weight as the idea of Finn being gone, that she had left both behind. when she'd been reunited with everyone on Mount Weather and there had been no sign of either of them, she could still remember how horrifically empty she had felt in their absence.
and that had just been the chance of them not surviving. so even the mere thought that she would be separated from him again isn't anything she's willing to deal with again. because maybe Bellamy isn't used to people caring about his well being, but Clarke can't imagine not.
huffing out a bit of a sigh, she offers up a smile to try and lighten the mood a little. )
Me? I'm never reckless. ( (Clarke, please.) but she nods nonetheless. ) I'll be careful. I promise.
[The huffing sigh, the smile, it sets him more at ease, pushes away any uncomfortable emotions he doesn't want to deal with when it comes to being important.]
[Bellamy offers the smallest of smiles back, so slight it's barely even noticeable, but it's there. They're both reckless, but at least it's usually not without reason anymore. And now with all that out of the way, they're more or less on the same page here about the upcoming battle.]
That's all I needed to hear. [Because trying to be careful is just about one of the only promises that can be kept anymore.] Just know I'm gonna hold you to that.
( because it's what they do, isn't it? hold each other accountable for the promises they give, for the choices they make. they ease each others guilt when it's warranted or leaves them to grapple with it when necessary. it's part of why they work; it isn't just about pushing each other, it isn't just about balance, it's about the accountability and whatever measure of comfort the other provides in one way or another.
Clark leans over to look at the map, trying not to let her smile widen; she's clearly quite proud of her handiwork. but it also serves as a reminder. )
I should get back to helping them. Only having one copy won't really help anyone but us.
[For all he's still worried about the battle that's on its way, Bellamy feels a little more settled about his own situation. It's not just the map - it's in knowing he and Clarke have a better plan than they did before, even if it is just having each other's backs at its core. But sometimes, that's all they need to start.]
Don't push yourself too much for that either. We're gonna need all the sleep we can get now.
Your lack of specificity is impressive. ( even Clarke "Mom Voice" Griffin is in awe of it, really. but she reaches up, offering a reassuring pat to his shoulder. ) Don't wait up. ( a beat. ) Meet me for breakfast tomorrow? We can pick up Raven on the way.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Bellamy spent most of his life on the Ark being expendable in his station. Looking after Octavia was the only sense of importance he'd felt for so long, and long were the days he had to look after himself because no one else would. People don't usually need him.]
[The Earth changed that, in a lot of ways he's still adjusting to, still getting comfortable with. The teenagers sent to die, his sister included, who looked to him even after his selfish hostility. The way his life has suddenly become something worth more value, that more than just Octavia would realize him missing.]
[It's one thing for all the implications, the plans, the way Clarke hints that she wants him safe, but it's another to hear her say so out loud. To flat out hear her say she can't lose him again.]
Don't do anything reckless yourself. [His voice is a notch quieter than it was before, but there's a promise in it anyway - even if he doesn't respond directly to her words, even if he's still not quite looking at her, Bellamy refuses to let Clarke down.] We'll get out of this. I'll make sure of it.
no subject
and that had just been the chance of them not surviving. so even the mere thought that she would be separated from him again isn't anything she's willing to deal with again. because maybe Bellamy isn't used to people caring about his well being, but Clarke can't imagine not.
huffing out a bit of a sigh, she offers up a smile to try and lighten the mood a little. )
Me? I'm never reckless. ( (Clarke, please.) but she nods nonetheless. ) I'll be careful. I promise.
no subject
[Bellamy offers the smallest of smiles back, so slight it's barely even noticeable, but it's there. They're both reckless, but at least it's usually not without reason anymore. And now with all that out of the way, they're more or less on the same page here about the upcoming battle.]
That's all I needed to hear. [Because trying to be careful is just about one of the only promises that can be kept anymore.] Just know I'm gonna hold you to that.
no subject
( because it's what they do, isn't it? hold each other accountable for the promises they give, for the choices they make. they ease each others guilt when it's warranted or leaves them to grapple with it when necessary. it's part of why they work; it isn't just about pushing each other, it isn't just about balance, it's about the accountability and whatever measure of comfort the other provides in one way or another.
Clark leans over to look at the map, trying not to let her smile widen; she's clearly quite proud of her handiwork. but it also serves as a reminder. )
I should get back to helping them. Only having one copy won't really help anyone but us.
no subject
Don't push yourself too much for that either. We're gonna need all the sleep we can get now.
no subject
( she's definitely teasing him a little, as evidenced by the grin that breaks across her face. )
no subject
[It's nice, to be light like this, for the first time in who knows how long, really.]
no subject
no subject
[Because he knows you, Clarke, and he knows you're gonna be up at least a little bit late working on maps.]
no subject
Bright and early. I want to get started on maps again right after, so the earlier the better.
no subject
[Some. It's the most he can hope for.]
no subject
( she offers up what she hopes passes as a reassuring smile before heading for the door; some sleep she can do. )