( Clarke only allows herself mere moments more to cry, a rush of emotion as she forces the feelings to move through her. it's a devastation that feels akin to losing Wells, how that betrayal ran so deep that she didn't know how to navigate her way out of it other than by using anger. anger at Wells, anger at the death of her father, anger at the council. there were so many spots to place her rage and frustration and grief that it was easier to be angry than to feel the pain of it.
but here, now, there isn't an anger. it's a loss, a betrayal that she doesn't know how to find her way back from. so she cries, for not knowing what else to do, for having no other way to release the emotions surging through her. she cries until she forces herself to stop, until she's pulling from Bellamy's arms and wiping at her eyes, her face, clearing away the evidence of the tears.
it's an effort to get her breathing under control, but she manages, taking one step back from Bellamy. she can't linger on this, she can't afford to. there are more Banshee's to help, there are more things to do, and she can't just sit in the loss of Lauralae and grieve her like a dying thing. )
I'm sorry for making you come home. I'm- ( a deep breath, steadying. ) I'll be okay.
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but here, now, there isn't an anger. it's a loss, a betrayal that she doesn't know how to find her way back from. so she cries, for not knowing what else to do, for having no other way to release the emotions surging through her. she cries until she forces herself to stop, until she's pulling from Bellamy's arms and wiping at her eyes, her face, clearing away the evidence of the tears.
it's an effort to get her breathing under control, but she manages, taking one step back from Bellamy. she can't linger on this, she can't afford to. there are more Banshee's to help, there are more things to do, and she can't just sit in the loss of Lauralae and grieve her like a dying thing. )
I'm sorry for making you come home. I'm- ( a deep breath, steadying. ) I'll be okay.