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[He's giving off the air and illusion of casualness, but knocking on someone's door in the middle of the night is never a sign of calm. Not lately.]
[Especially after the hint of a nightmare. He meets Hiro's gaze firmly, but he doesn't look put our or annoyed - still just concerned, before he offers a nod.]
Wanna go outside? The air might be good for you. [It's almost standard by now, the way they just sort of meet up in the middle of the night. For himself, Bellamy has found it easier to get out of the house sometimes, whether they decide to just sit on the porch or climb up on the roof, just having the sky above him gives him a sense of calm when the walls feel too tight.]
[Especially after the hint of a nightmare. He meets Hiro's gaze firmly, but he doesn't look put our or annoyed - still just concerned, before he offers a nod.]
Wanna go outside? The air might be good for you. [It's almost standard by now, the way they just sort of meet up in the middle of the night. For himself, Bellamy has found it easier to get out of the house sometimes, whether they decide to just sit on the porch or climb up on the roof, just having the sky above him gives him a sense of calm when the walls feel too tight.]
[Sometimes it's still a struggle and a little awkward for Hiro to actually trust Bellamy with these things out of a little questioning of whether he's bothering the older man or not, but he's getting better. Being outside does wonders for calming his nerves and this is almost routine by now even if he hasn't quite come out to tell Bellamy everything that keeps him up. He crouches down for a moment to release Bellona so the kitten can return to Bellamy's room before he nods, glancing back out into the dark interior of the house.
Outside, at least, might be a little less intimidating, too.]
...roof? [Even the porch is a bit too stifling today. Bellamy may have noticed a pattern in Hiro that when his night terrors are on the more severe side, he opts for open space.] I can meet you up there.
Outside, at least, might be a little less intimidating, too.]
...roof? [Even the porch is a bit too stifling today. Bellamy may have noticed a pattern in Hiro that when his night terrors are on the more severe side, he opts for open space.] I can meet you up there.
Edited (I sure can English.) 2015-09-08 07:28 (UTC)
[It's easier to talk with Hiro so candidly when he stops thinking about it, when he just lets it roll between them, rather than analyzing how they communicate, or wondering why Hiro started trusting him so much. Bellamy knows how to gain favor and loyalty purposely, but it still surprises him when it happens unintentionally.]
Gimme two minutes. [That's a yes, on the roof. He shuts the door behind him and heads for the kitchen first, grabbing a canteen full of water and scooping up Bellona in the other hand. The kitten protests only briefly, but it's hardly the first time he's taken the animal up there with him, and he figures Hiro would probably appreciate more cat-time. He has seen the cuddles.]
[He could teleport, but even with his hands full, he'd rather climb up and exert himself, make it easier to fall asleep later. So he shoves kitten and canteen into one arm and makes his way up onto the roof, relishing in how much better the fresh air feels already.]
Gimme two minutes. [That's a yes, on the roof. He shuts the door behind him and heads for the kitchen first, grabbing a canteen full of water and scooping up Bellona in the other hand. The kitten protests only briefly, but it's hardly the first time he's taken the animal up there with him, and he figures Hiro would probably appreciate more cat-time. He has seen the cuddles.]
[He could teleport, but even with his hands full, he'd rather climb up and exert himself, make it easier to fall asleep later. So he shoves kitten and canteen into one arm and makes his way up onto the roof, relishing in how much better the fresh air feels already.]
[That period of time is enough for Hiro to step outside onto the porch, slipping into shadows to teleport himself up to the roof. He should have followed Bellamy's advice and climbed to tire himself out, but this was faster. Besides, shadow traveling was still cool.
By the time Bellamy appears over the edge of the roof he crawls forward, first taking the canteen and then trying to take Bellona from his hands so Bellamy can haul himself up the rest of the way. He just doesn't bother giving the kitten back, cradling her to his chest while leaning back and propping himself up with an elbow. Bellamy was right. The cat-time is appreciated. There's quiet for a moment as they get situated before Hiro turns his head to ask Bellamy a question.]
Did you go out tonight, or did you stay home? [He's known Bellamy to wander out at night a few times, but he generally doesn't ask where he goes.]
By the time Bellamy appears over the edge of the roof he crawls forward, first taking the canteen and then trying to take Bellona from his hands so Bellamy can haul himself up the rest of the way. He just doesn't bother giving the kitten back, cradling her to his chest while leaning back and propping himself up with an elbow. Bellamy was right. The cat-time is appreciated. There's quiet for a moment as they get situated before Hiro turns his head to ask Bellamy a question.]
Did you go out tonight, or did you stay home? [He's known Bellamy to wander out at night a few times, but he generally doesn't ask where he goes.]
[He's grateful for the free hands, even if he knows he could have done it otherwise. He's also glad he decided to bring the cat, because the way Hiro instantly cuddles it is A Sign.]
[Bellamy settles down on the roof with a small sigh, taking back the canteen so he can take a sip before he replies.] Yeah. Just - around town though.
[He doesn't offer much more than that, but he's spent a lot of time at the La Llorona outpost lately too that he doesn't mind giving Hiro something more about where he's been. He knows Hiro has been worrying about it lately with everyone.]
For the record - next time you knock, if I'm not here, just call me.
[Bellamy settles down on the roof with a small sigh, taking back the canteen so he can take a sip before he replies.] Yeah. Just - around town though.
[He doesn't offer much more than that, but he's spent a lot of time at the La Llorona outpost lately too that he doesn't mind giving Hiro something more about where he's been. He knows Hiro has been worrying about it lately with everyone.]
For the record - next time you knock, if I'm not here, just call me.
[He doesn't really need to offer more seeing how Hiro's more focused on prodding his finger under Bellona's chin and booping her on the nose, half-focused on her and half on Bellamy. Just around town means he's gone places he's been before and that settles him a bit more. So he only nods in response.]
Yeah...I was gonna do that if you didn't answer. [Maybe. If he didn't psyche himself out first. He doesn't say anything for a minute, stomach tied in knots as he stares up at the sky and continues, now playing with the cat's paws.]
...let me ask you something. What do you do when your dreams start bleeding into reality and you don't know how to separate them very well?
Yeah...I was gonna do that if you didn't answer. [Maybe. If he didn't psyche himself out first. He doesn't say anything for a minute, stomach tied in knots as he stares up at the sky and continues, now playing with the cat's paws.]
...let me ask you something. What do you do when your dreams start bleeding into reality and you don't know how to separate them very well?
[He sets the canteen down between them, a sign that Hiro's more than welcome to it too. He doesn't answer the question right away though, mostly because he doesn't have a concrete answer to that anymore. He takes the sleeping draught, but it's not really enough, exhibited by his disastrous month of poor sleep. He's kind of just expecting he'll need to get used to this exhaustion as the new normal.]
[But it's telling that he asks, and Bellamy knows right away that Hiro's struggling too, more than he'd realized before.] Try and find something that I know is reality. Focus myself on the things I know are real. [A beat.] Even if it means busting up my hands sometimes.
[At least he stopped feeling bad for the trees he's been taking his aggression out on. But fighting has come easy to him for so long that it just feels natural to use it to his own benefit even when he doesn't have a sentient opponent.]
[But it's telling that he asks, and Bellamy knows right away that Hiro's struggling too, more than he'd realized before.] Try and find something that I know is reality. Focus myself on the things I know are real. [A beat.] Even if it means busting up my hands sometimes.
[At least he stopped feeling bad for the trees he's been taking his aggression out on. But fighting has come easy to him for so long that it just feels natural to use it to his own benefit even when he doesn't have a sentient opponent.]
[He's still looking at her with too much concern, and he'd still rather her at least spend five minutes at home, but he doesn't want to start an argument. He won't add to her plate, not after that.] I never expected you to. I'm not even telling you to.
Just - you don't have to do it alone, okay? Don't forget to eat or come home.
Just - you don't have to do it alone, okay? Don't forget to eat or come home.
[He eyes the canteen but there's a subtle shake of his head. Not right now. Not while he's still fighting himself out of whatever dream he's just had. He's awake. He's awake and he's physically here, but there's a part of him caught up in his nightmare still. His focus on Bellamy and the kitten appear to be what he's choosing to believe is real.
Focusing on Bellamy being alive and his head not spontaneously combusting due to his shard erroring out. Focusing on the still-warm night air. Focusing on the soft fur under Bellona's chin. It's not a bad strategy.]
But what if even then you can't fight it? [He doesn't want to sound defeated. It's the last thing he wants with Bellamy, but he knows it's harder to keep the tone out of his voice.] What if you know for a fact that the dreams are going to become a reality really, really soon? That's where I'm stuck.
Focusing on Bellamy being alive and his head not spontaneously combusting due to his shard erroring out. Focusing on the still-warm night air. Focusing on the soft fur under Bellona's chin. It's not a bad strategy.]
But what if even then you can't fight it? [He doesn't want to sound defeated. It's the last thing he wants with Bellamy, but he knows it's harder to keep the tone out of his voice.] What if you know for a fact that the dreams are going to become a reality really, really soon? That's where I'm stuck.
Well. Not everyone.
[ How was this man ever Seelie. ]
[ How was this man ever Seelie. ]
Honestly? Pretty sure they say the same about shardbearers.
Nah. I'm just a pain in the ass in a dozen of other ways.
[ He grins and it's all wolf. ]
[ He grins and it's all wolf. ]
[He rolls his eyes, both at the glower and the following dismissal. Bellamy likes Jason well enough, but they don't see the war the same way. He's never been as solid on the Unseelie cause, and he doesn't trust the monarchs, even if he prefers following up on the whole uncage fate thing to most else.]
[He does also have an alternative, but it's one he's too afraid to talk about, one he hasn't even mentioned to Clarke yet, because he isn't sure she trusts the Red Hand enough anymore, and, well, he isn't sure he does either. But he likes what John offered more than slaughtering the other side en masse.]
You're the one who spoke to all the barons, not me. I'm not privy to all those details just yet. [It's said matter of factly. He doesn't really care, because fuck the system, etc. Ariadne is the only baron he actively likes.]
[He does also have an alternative, but it's one he's too afraid to talk about, one he hasn't even mentioned to Clarke yet, because he isn't sure she trusts the Red Hand enough anymore, and, well, he isn't sure he does either. But he likes what John offered more than slaughtering the other side en masse.]
You're the one who spoke to all the barons, not me. I'm not privy to all those details just yet. [It's said matter of factly. He doesn't really care, because fuck the system, etc. Ariadne is the only baron he actively likes.]
Oh, sure. I just try to make sure they can't link them all back to me.
I don't pick and choose. I don't even actually do that much cultivating.
But- Aly was a good teacher in a lot of ways.
But- Aly was a good teacher in a lot of ways.
Last I checked, you aren't doing so bad for yourself. A lot of people know about The Embattled. [The words come out easily and in an agitated tone. His meaning is clear: Bellamy if someone who has influence and power. That doesn't just come with being a baron. Hell, some would say he has a greater reputation than some of them in these lands, and it shows. But he doesn't dig in to that any further. The initial statement speaks for itself.]
Having an extra voice and some more ideas? That wouldn't be too bad. The plans aren't made yet. But that's fine. You can skip helping out, and I can find myself none too surprised with the results. You can't finish, after all.
[He shrugs in an unsurprised manner. They've done this before. They'll do it again.]
Having an extra voice and some more ideas? That wouldn't be too bad. The plans aren't made yet. But that's fine. You can skip helping out, and I can find myself none too surprised with the results. You can't finish, after all.
[He shrugs in an unsurprised manner. They've done this before. They'll do it again.]
[He nods, it's nice to be remembered, considering all the people Bellamy probably sees every day. He has to wonder about the tiredness, though, but it's probably from training. Everyone was training.]
It is, like a different world, makes me wonder how many of them spend much time outside it. [He hadn't, when he lived there for most of the month, except a few times.] Breda. Thank you, I'll talk to her, too.
[There is no hesitation in his next words; he's lied before, he knows how to do it. He doesn't know if Bellamy is with the Red Hand or not, certainly doesn't want to say anything about it over the locket system regardless. Who knew who could be listening?] Mostly curiosity, I want to see which side of the war they'd come down on if they were ever forced to choose, it'd be good to know who our friends are.
It is, like a different world, makes me wonder how many of them spend much time outside it. [He hadn't, when he lived there for most of the month, except a few times.] Breda. Thank you, I'll talk to her, too.
[There is no hesitation in his next words; he's lied before, he knows how to do it. He doesn't know if Bellamy is with the Red Hand or not, certainly doesn't want to say anything about it over the locket system regardless. Who knew who could be listening?] Mostly curiosity, I want to see which side of the war they'd come down on if they were ever forced to choose, it'd be good to know who our friends are.
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