( some of it is fuzzy, feels worlds away (it is), and she's still muddling through the things that were a dream and the memories of the Drabwurld. but she remembers that; she remembers feeling such despair that she was ready to give up. she remembers finding out that they were bleeding the kids, remembers not hearing from Bellamy, remembers Raven telling her that she killed Finn and wasn't allowed to give up.
(and she did, she did, she did. she killed him and he thanked her, and all she can remember is not being able to scrub hard enough to get his blood off her hands and how his last words were thanks, princess and the way Raven screamed loud enough for the world to hear her.)
but she remembers Bellamy's voice over the radio, and the surge of hope in her chest. those things she remembers, too.
his explanation is processing is far and away different from her own. she woke up in a stark white room and just had to wait to be cleared for contamination; only delayed by her own (rightful) suspicion of the Mountain and its residents. she regrets what she did to Mia, now, but back then it felt necessary in order to find their people. but Bellamy-
her face is blank as she stares at him. it isn't a disconnect so much as she's trying very hard to keep herself together for this, to not keep crying, to listen. )
You're being vague so I don't feel worse, aren't you?
no subject
( some of it is fuzzy, feels worlds away (it is), and she's still muddling through the things that were a dream and the memories of the Drabwurld. but she remembers that; she remembers feeling such despair that she was ready to give up. she remembers finding out that they were bleeding the kids, remembers not hearing from Bellamy, remembers Raven telling her that she killed Finn and wasn't allowed to give up.
(and she did, she did, she did. she killed him and he thanked her, and all she can remember is not being able to scrub hard enough to get his blood off her hands and how his last words were thanks, princess and the way Raven screamed loud enough for the world to hear her.)
but she remembers Bellamy's voice over the radio, and the surge of hope in her chest. those things she remembers, too.
his explanation is processing is far and away different from her own. she woke up in a stark white room and just had to wait to be cleared for contamination; only delayed by her own (rightful) suspicion of the Mountain and its residents. she regrets what she did to Mia, now, but back then it felt necessary in order to find their people. but Bellamy-
her face is blank as she stares at him. it isn't a disconnect so much as she's trying very hard to keep herself together for this, to not keep crying, to listen. )
You're being vague so I don't feel worse, aren't you?