[All things considered, he's not surprised she healed him first - she's still Clarke, with her stubborn need to put everyone else before herself. And maybe that's part of why he keeps putting her first, because someone has to.]
[But it's more than that. If the way he's still not ready to let her go is any indication, if the way he's still so angry that she'd chosen him first and almost died, that feeling is mutual. It's one thing to know how much he needs her, another to be faced with it so openly like a Charybdis in his chest.]
[Bellamy's hold on her tightens, both because of her words and because he stiffens with them. He wears his heart on his sleeve even when it makes him uncomfortable.] I'm always a jerk.
[It's the easier thing to say right now, because he can't look at her.] Do you think I want anything to happen to you either? [It's also easier to spit it out as a question rather than a statement, hot with irritation despite his hold on her. He can't do - anything of this without her. Not anymore.]
[His being healed at the cost of her life would have been pointless. Useless. He has a million other things to say about it - and he will, when he's less exhausted from another near death choking experience.]
no subject
[But it's more than that. If the way he's still not ready to let her go is any indication, if the way he's still so angry that she'd chosen him first and almost died, that feeling is mutual. It's one thing to know how much he needs her, another to be faced with it so openly like a Charybdis in his chest.]
[Bellamy's hold on her tightens, both because of her words and because he stiffens with them. He wears his heart on his sleeve even when it makes him uncomfortable.] I'm always a jerk.
[It's the easier thing to say right now, because he can't look at her.] Do you think I want anything to happen to you either? [It's also easier to spit it out as a question rather than a statement, hot with irritation despite his hold on her. He can't do - anything of this without her. Not anymore.]
[His being healed at the cost of her life would have been pointless. Useless. He has a million other things to say about it - and he will, when he's less exhausted from another near death choking experience.]