( she can't help but wince away from his reaction, to take a step back, and in her fear, she winds up using her new speed to wind up half way across the room away from him by accident. that part she's still getting used to, along with- well, everything else.
she presses her back against the counter, reaching back to curl her fingers around the edges and stay there, if only to keep herself grounded to this, to the moment. her guilt feels so much bigger now, a crushing weight, and she can't help but feel terrible for all of it; she can already feel the grief of Jason having returned, mesmer having lost its effects once she died and came back, but now to load Bellamy's reaction on top of her grief-
her heart aches, and Clarke doesn't know what to do with it, with any of it. )
I didn't know! I didn't know that would happen, and I needed him. I needed him to come back. ( she still does, even now; she would rather try to reactivate his shard a hundred more times and fail a hundred more times than to think she has to give up on getting Jason back. ) I didn't want to die, Bellamy. I didn't want this.
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she presses her back against the counter, reaching back to curl her fingers around the edges and stay there, if only to keep herself grounded to this, to the moment. her guilt feels so much bigger now, a crushing weight, and she can't help but feel terrible for all of it; she can already feel the grief of Jason having returned, mesmer having lost its effects once she died and came back, but now to load Bellamy's reaction on top of her grief-
her heart aches, and Clarke doesn't know what to do with it, with any of it. )
I didn't know! I didn't know that would happen, and I needed him. I needed him to come back. ( she still does, even now; she would rather try to reactivate his shard a hundred more times and fail a hundred more times than to think she has to give up on getting Jason back. ) I didn't want to die, Bellamy. I didn't want this.