( Clarke breathes out a laugh, but her emotions are in such overdrive that she actually feels tears gather again. grief is a strange thing, she knows; even laughter can be something that returns the devastation freshly back. but she can't do this right now, she can't.

instead, she reaches up to wipe at her eyes again, shaking her head as she does. )

I know, and I'm not, but there's also too much for me to do that I can't afford to just stand here and cry about this. About her. ( she shakes her head again, as though reaffirming this to herself. ) I'll be fine. I'm- I'm just going to go spend some time in the Queen's library. I need a distraction.

( at least she doesn't try to force a smile, makes no attempt at pretending like she's okay; they both know she isn't, and that's enough for her right now. )

I'll be home tonight, okay?